That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
