so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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