Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
