Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
