I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
