i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
