did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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