She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
