fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
