"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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