i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
