How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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