I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
