youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can I color on your dick again?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
