Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
