i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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