So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
