If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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