Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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