he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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