there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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