Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
