i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
