are you still at the devil's house?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
