Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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