I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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