do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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