Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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