Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
