Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
