So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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