Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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