I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
