it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
