did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
