Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
