i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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