your parents love me but you hate me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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