i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
