Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
