i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
