# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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