If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
