He asked to "fluff my boner.."
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize