I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
