she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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