Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
