Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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