so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
