My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
